98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party
yes your honor, this marriage can no longer work out after the trauma I suffered from my wife stealing not one, but TWO of my stars
(via westbor0baptistchurch)
(via thefrogman)
This is a photo of me and this girl I know named Melissa. I always thought Melissa was a nice girl until she betrayed me. One night she invited me to a “Girl’s Night In” slumber party (lol honorary girl here) and I went hoping to get drunk with a bunch of awesome girls and to gossip about boys. When I got there I was ambushed!
They tied me up and forced me to touch their dildoes that had been inside them and i started crying. Then they put me in an ugly white shirt they probably found at goodwill and chopped off my left leg. Melissa was very good with her hands and she dipped her hand in my gushing blood and painted this swastika on my chest. I was devastated because I’m not racist OKAY? (I love my half mixed neighbour and I said hi to her in an elevator once). When she was done painting the swastika she slapped me with her shoe and told me to stand up on my right leg and smile. Just then, Melissa’s sister Judie came in with a camera and snapped this pic of us.
It might look all happy and innocent and all in good fun. But Melissa is pure evil. You know how you don’t see her left hand in the picture? That’s because it was silent ducked inside of me (i haven’t sat down in over a year). Do you see my right hand holding her waist? That was for support because I only have one leg (not because I liked her or anything).
You can see in her eyes that Melissa is the reincarnation of Lucifer.
She knows how to hurt good people and she might come after your gay coloured children. Now my whole reputation is ruined and I can’t run and it’s all because of her. The moral of the story is to never trust a girl named Melissa, because they will all befriend you, invite you over, make you touch her dildoes and chop your leg off and label you a racist.
May 26th marks the 4th anniversary of when Melissa made me touch her dildoes, crippled me, fisted me, and ruined my life. If you have a heart you will reblog this and spread the word so that this monster can be caught and brought to justice.
(via westbor0baptistchurch)
![scarymerry:
raccooneyedbitch:
bombarrows:
quadrangledreality:
lightningsshadow:
paranoidandroid42:
yes i’m a boy
yes i play videogames ;]
don’t hit on me silly girls xoxoxo
wft boys don’t play videogames
get back in the garage and fix my car.
another fucking “gamer boy” They all just want attention they cant even play well!
He’s just a slut with a controller.
That console isn’t even plugged in you fucking whore.
he probably thinks that link is zelda](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzk61g0hKW1rpj5z4o1_r1_500.jpg)
yes i’m a boy
yes i play videogames ;]
don’t hit on me silly girls xoxoxo
wft boys don’t play videogames
get back in the garage and fix my car.
another fucking “gamer boy” They all just want attention they cant even play well!
He’s just a slut with a controller.
That console isn’t even plugged in you fucking whore.
he probably thinks that link is zelda
(via nerdycouture)
Men are from Mars – and so are women.
“women aren’t allowed to—”
“women shouldn’t/can’t ___ because periods”
“men are biologically better than women at—”
“only men can/should—”
“it’s not ladylike to—”
“you’re not a real woman if you don’t—”
“men are dominant and superior—”
“women have to—”
“she’s a slut/whore/trashy woman because she likes to have sex”
“she asked for it/it was her fault for—”
“women should wear—”
(via westbor0baptistchurch)
![thefrogman:
Eat More Bikes drawn by Nathan Bulmer [tumblr]
[h/t: pleatedjeans]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/a6adc34ea799e4846663acbed838abb8/tumblr_mmkbv70Bi01qhy1pno1_1280.jpg)
Eat More Bikes drawn by Nathan Bulmer [tumblr]
[h/t: pleatedjeans]